FIC: Traitor

[angst-queen-98.livejournal.com]

Hi! *waves nervously* This is my first time posting fic here, though I'm no stranger to fandom at large. Been writing in one fandom or another for... seventeen years or so.

Here's the first of my David/Colby prompt challenge fics. I haven't gotten the table done yet. Figured the writing should come first and then I can work on putting the table together. All the prompt stories will revolved around Janus List, Trust Metric and the first few episodes of this season.

If you like it, there will be more. If you don't? Well, it's short and easily ignored! LOL! And now on to the fic...


Title: Traitor
Author: Paige
Characters: David/Colby
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 533
Spoilers: "The Janus List,"
Feedback: Yes please! I need to know if it makes sense. And also if I should continue with this project.
Beta: starmaid333
Disclaimer: They're not mine and I'm not making any money from this. It's all in good fun.



~#~ ~#~ ~#~

Traitor. David's word cuts through me like a knife. I have to look away because if we make eye contact just once he'll know. I'm sure of it. And even now… especially now, I can't afford that.

Dammit, this isn't the path I planned for my life. Yeah, I wanted to be more than just a cop. Not that I have anything against them. But cops have limited jurisdiction. I wanted to see more of the big picture.

Yeah, I've seen it all right. More than I bargained for, in fact. Damn.

Much as I'd like to lay this at Dwayne's door I can't. They were up front about the risks and the fact that this wouldn't be a quick undercover job. I'd be living the lie for months, probably years. Which is exactly what happened.

And up until two years ago, I was okay with that. I never stayed in one place too long. Never let anyone get too close to me. Life was lonely sometimes but at least it was uncomplicated, too.

Then I got transferred to L.A., and Don Eppes team. I'd heard of Eppes. That he was a fair guy and that he'd earned the high respect his team held for him. Easy to see why once I was with them.

Even so, I didn't think it would be a big deal. Come in, do the job, just like always. And then I met David Sinclair.

To this day I still have no idea how he smashed through my defenses. I wasn't looking for a friend. And certainly we didn't start out that way. There were a couple times in the beginning where I thought we might end up beating the shit out of each other but it never happened. It was like… one day we just decided that we could work together as a team. A pretty damned good team, too.

And then I realized just as suddenly that David wasn't just my partner. Or even just my friend. He was the man I loved. How in the hell did that happen? It wasn't supposed to happen and not because he's a guy, either. You think Dwayne and I never got down and dirty?

Though with Dwayne it was just release and pleasure. I knew that after the first time with David. It was a night and day difference.

So many stakeouts. Nights spent sharing pizza and beer, catching a game. And afterwards, making love. Hey, I call it as I see it. To do less would be a discredit to both of us.

I wanted to tell him what was going on from the start. Lying to David was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I knew he could never know. If he did, it wouldn't just be my life in danger. I've seen what the bastards I'm pursuing are capable of. The lengths they'll go to get what they want.

Right now they see my relationship with David as a means to an end. I occasionally take something he's told me back to them. As long as they feel David is useful and not a threat, he's safe. And I swear to God I'll do whatever it takes to keep him that way.

As long as he's alive, I can live with knowing that I'm the cause of the pain and betrayal in those incredible eyes. David is what's good and right about this screwed up world I'm living in. The time spent with him has reminded me why I'm putting my neck on the line.

There's also the hope that somehow, someday, I can explain it all to him. He may never forgive me for lying. But at least he'll know there was a reason.

God, let me live through this so I can tell him what we had wasn't part of the lie.